How we have sex

There's a few ways of having sex in SL, while waiting for teledildonics to be invented.  Some people, usually men, like to cycle through poseballs as fast as possible... making a kind of low-quality machinima porn film.  Some people use voice-- I really can't imagine how that works... strategic moaning and grunting?  What I use is words, with some visual aids.

What this means, essentially, is collaboratively writing an erotic short story.  Here's an except from one session:

Kata crouches next to you as you remain bent and takes one of your breasts in her gloved hand, almost directly in your view as your face begins to redden
Kata wraps her gloved fingers around your small breast with a slighty creak of leather, the slightly rough texture reddening the skin quickly as she gives it a little tug, then a twist, trapping your small, dark nipple between her finger and thumb as she does so
Mavia breathes a little more heavily, feeling your gloved fingers on her nipple
Kata : mmm....what a lovely handful...did you have this in mind? breasts i can just...cup...a little...and play with?
Mavia: breasts don't need to be any larger than a hand :)
Kata reaches across to your other breast and tends to it similarly, her face lit with ...glee? at her new-found playthings...
Kata chuckles as she quickly leans forward, opens her mouth, and extends her warm, pink tongue to wrap around your nearest nipple as she pulls that breast to the side, towards her
Mavia gasps as she feels your warm wet tongue on her breast...
Kata quickly sucks your nipple and areola into her mouth, moaning softly as she does so -- mmmmm.....just....about...right...
Kata traps your nipple between the tip of her tongue and her upper lip, rolls it for a moment, then slips her lip forward to drive the little, wet thing onto her upper teeth
Kata leans back just a bit, digging her teeth in and pulling your nipple, breast, and slowly the rest of your upper body to the side
mavia's nipple quickly grows hard as you play with it...
Kata giggles as she tugs at your nipple in this way twice, each time admiring it as it swings back beneath you when she releases it with just the tiniest jiggle
she feels hot and red-faced from holding her head upside down...
Kata : mmm...almost just a mouthful...did we get those boots off yet?
Mavia startles, then awkwardly removes her left boot
Kata rises slowly, slipping her crop under your chest, pressing the shaft against the soft bottoms of both of your breasts
Kata smiles -- best hurry...
and then the right...
Mavia puts the boots aside with rather more attention than she paid her top
Kata taps the shaft of her crop against your chest a couple of times as you complete the task -- very good...now...stand up and lean back for a moment...catch your breath
[Mavia releases her bending pose]
Mavia stands up, and takes several deep breaths, stealing glances at Kata in her catsuit

What you may notice here is that Kata is a goddamn fast typist.  I don't know how she chugs that stuff out so fast.  It's full of constant imaginative visual details and challenges me to keep up, in tempo and care.

Some folks are even more effusive... writing entire paragraphs not just for sex but for standing around talking in a bar.  I find that a little silly... they seem like creative writing assignments gone amok.  I'm all about making things happen in RP, but not about filling space.

Sims, clothing and the removal thereof, poseballs, and toys serve as visual aids... I do respond strongly to visual stimuli, and it helps the imagination to see roughly what's happening.  But all the details and nuances are in the words.  I find a good erotic short story more arousing than porn anyway.

You're not actually touching (and more's the pity), but you are interacting with another human being, working directly and intimately with their kinky little minds.  And being in a virtual world has many advantages: you can fit sexual RP into fantasy or science fiction milieus, you can be a dark elf or a demon fucking people with their tail, you can try things or people you'd never do in real life.  SL is safe; if you don't like a situation you can immediately stop, log off, mute the person, teleport out, whatever, suffering no more than hurt feelings.

As a corollary to all this, the first thing I look for in partners is basic compatibility in desires (usually evident from their profile), but the second is a facility with words.  I like someone who can speak in whole sentences, create verbal images, and is responsive to those around them.

Plus they have to have time on their hands.  Typing takes time; I can rush a session in an hour, but to set up a situation and play it out can easily take two or three times that.